| politics is nothing but pure passion |
[04 Dec 2003|11:08am] |
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the rain is one of nature's beauties which makes my heart stir and makes me feel so tiny..in a beautiful way..like there is this great beautiful force controlling everything and its making this beautiful rain..and for once, capitalism isnt in control of it
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[25 Aug 2003|07:06pm] |
me without you is phenomenal. i missed them so.
i cant believe jamey is leaving me for tokyo.
it's going to be odd without his presence.
i have yoga tommorow for the first time in a few months.
tranquility will pervade my being wholesomely.
peace be with everyone,
katie
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[16 Aug 2003|02:44am] |
just when i thought i had this all figured out, tangible heart. but no. it's like my heart is on a candy neclace. strung on elastic with all of those other girls' hearts, ready to snap and break all of the others with it once it cracks.
your eyes made me believe you. shame on your eyes.
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[23 Jun 2003|02:01am] |
i feel like livejournal is just some big popularity contest where people brag about how many friends they've hung out with over the week. it's like this big place to write about all the "cool" stuff you've done, and people never really write about the truth of shit. if people really did have as many friends as they seem to in their posts, why do they have so much time document all of these adventures? shouldn't these people be out at all hours of the day and night hanging out? all people do is try to on livejournal is tailor their lives to look cookie-cutter and plastic-perfect like martha stewart. they'd never let loose and express some real raw emotion, because then people may think those who express real raw emotion are nuts. livejournal is just a crock of fabricated bullshit, a cracked eggshell, a broken heart, a way to "yell" at your "friends." it's quite pathetic.
look what happened to martha stewart in the end.
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[05 Jun 2003|09:50pm] |
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please call me if u want to see elliott smith with me on tuesday, june 10. its at 8pm at the troc.tickets are probably going to be gone soon .xo
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[01 Jun 2003|01:10am] |
i think i'm in love with john mayer.
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[30 May 2003|03:21am] |
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im sick of feeling mental,and like i don't relate to anyone on the earth. this shit sucks.
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[20 May 2003|10:29pm] |
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this was my first day of hitting up the beach at my hometown. i got severely burnt. i now look like the devil in the flesh. mwahaha
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| i think i'm onto something revolutionary.. |
[02 May 2003|12:05am] |
i have never felt this good.
i cannot believe how strong i am to have with-held an hour and a half of the most hot temperature ever.
i feel like i can do anything.
i feel like i found this for a reason right now.
im so lucky.
i love nature.
thank you grandfather.
i'm not washing my clothes.
http://www.malvernsweatlodge.com/
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| memoirs: key west |
[27 Apr 2003|07:51am] |
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tiny dancer reminds me of pink flamingo straws, my dad with his hippie beard, living with parrots in our house, the ugly mug in key west, collecting sponges in the lagoon, that familiar key west motel, mom's florida friends trying to give us their cocatiel, conch shell outlets, a smurfs bucket from an old lady, smurfs cereal, sunsets full of color with palm trees in the silhouette, my sister as an infant, a big yellow and black blow up boat, vanessa white, chameleons, white cement one story homes, a backyard with fruit trees, an ocean bluer than the sky, 60s music, huge headphones, led zeppelin, in-door pools, my mom with black shoulder length hair and bangs, in an 80s bathing suit, big sunglasses, jesus not being #1-for once, uncle david, station wagon road trips to florida, ernest hemmingway's house, the death of shel silverstein, becky and joe, blurred eyes, slurred speech, hangovers, open containers while driving, and beer cans piled up to the ceiling.
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[21 Apr 2003|06:28pm] |
i feel like crap.
i hate when my moods go from way up to way down.
god,
i just got my period.
i miss being in love.
why the fuck doesn't it ever last for me?
my moods always change.
i fall out,
i fall in,
im a mess.
and i drag other hearts through it in the process.
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| i love jay z unplugged! |
[19 Apr 2003|11:12am] |
for sheezy mah neezy keep mah arms so breezy
for shizzle mah nizzle used to dribble down the v-a
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| room idea |
[19 Apr 2003|11:08am] |
i must make a painting using feather brushing with pink paint on canvas. i need to hang it in my new room. and then i will paint skeletons on bikes in black or white ontop of this.
count the headlights on the highway..
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[18 Apr 2003|11:21pm] |
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hold me close tiny dancer
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[18 Apr 2003|10:43pm] |
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im nervous about living on my own for the first time. i feel like i am going to totally be on my own for the first time in my life. i am living in a house with 4 guy friends for the whole summer. i have my own room in a 3 story house. im scared, but im also excited. i need to break myself. i need to be able to be comfortable with myself. i need to be totally self sufficient. i'll be buying my own food, cooking for myself, and being completely in charge of myself. this is going to be carrrrrrrazy.
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| love exposed for the pedestrians |
[11 Apr 2003|01:50am] |
in love.in love.
in love with making love to the world
with eyes,soul, heart.
flowers scrape the ground and float around,
and dance, and twirl through the wind.
the flowers dancing to the beat
of the wind. the beat of a soul.
flinging arms around the petals to
catch them.
splash of perfumed fragrance fills lungs,
expanding them, contracting them,
blowing out the petals, a rainbow of
pearls, lavenders, peaches, and maroons,
a rainbow of blood swirling and twirling
down nostrils,
heart being blown through nose,
bloody nose, colors spewing like paint,
wet paint, onto the pavement.
love exposed for the pedestrians.
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[10 Apr 2003|02:15pm] |
i think the most important thing in life ever is connecting with people. thank you jamey. i had so much fun last nite.
<3 rich
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| people don't realize how their negative energy affects others |
[09 Apr 2003|11:19am] |
i am so extremely upset and mad at the father of the children i babysit 3x a week. yesterday he came in the door, saying, "katie we need to talk." however, he preceded to YELL at me, for the most insane, ridiculous reason ever. apparently the place in his driveway where i have been parking since september is now adequate reason for him to scream at me. apparently, this spot is no longer good, and i was supposed to somehow know that i cannot park there anymore. therefore, he felt it necessary to yell at me for parking there, in front of his children, making it seem as though i have no authority or dignity whatsoever. if their father can yell at me, how are they supposed to respect me?
ontop of this, i have used the people i babysit's washer/dryer a total of maybe 5x babysitting,because the washer/dryers at school are disgusting, and panty sniffers often pervade(sick!). apparently, since yesterday, i am supposed to fold ALL of the laundry of the people i babysit whenever i use their appliances. as if this isn't ridiculous enough, that they cannot just let me use their appliances-that they need a trade-off, the parents arent even the ones who told me this. they told their 11 yr old daughter to make sure i do this.
i am extremely fed up with this bullshit. i need to make a decision whether to quit now- as i only have 14 days left, in which i will make $400 altogether, stick it out without saying anything, or have a long discussion with the father, where i could end up losing my job, or else end the conversation with "i cannot work for you anymore."
yesterday when he yelled at me, it didn't really bother me at the time. however, when i woke up today, all i could feel was the rage this asshole has inflicted upon me. i am extremely pissed about the way this man treated me. he treats his wife the same way, constantly yelling at her. he calls up his daughters teachers and yells at them if his kids do bad on a test. clearly this man has issues. is it my place to advise him to seek anger management counseling? i really don't know. however, i am really disgusted by the way this man treats people, and because of him, i now have to agonize over what i should do about this problem.
ontop of this, the weather sucks. it's totally miserable.
and tonite im spose to hang out with my friends robby and jamey and i just have a feeling its not going to end up happening. i havent heard from either of them since monday. i dont know, this whole day sucks. im really starting to get upset.
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| god..the memories i love |
[02 Apr 2003|12:33am] |
i miss baking cakes and screaming in the rain.
i miss car-rides screaming to silly pop punk.
i miss kissing my friends on the cheek.
i miss falling asleep in my girlfriend's beds.
i miss taking photos of farms.
i miss telling all of my friends i love them all the time.
i miss the nite amber,joe,and i were reading the bible in our car, on a shady street, in the middle of the nite, when a cop pulled us over. he didn't believe us when we said we were reading the bible.
i miss dancing with randy at christian ska shows.
i miss youth groups.
i miss danny cranny.
i miss my nickname, "emo" by my boys senior year.
i miss high school shows and moshing.
i miss being yelled at for having spikey hair in catholic high school.
i miss falling asleep in cat hair and waking up with watery eyes.
i miss driving far distances for boys.
i miss lying in the back of your car listening to lifetime.
i miss being confused together.
i miss falling asleep to you reading me stories.
i miss road trips with you.
i miss all the boys i've ever kissed.
i miss confessing my "sins" to a priest.
i miss the purity of virginity.
i miss riding horses through the river.
i miss walking around barefoot.
i miss mark, my first kiss.
i miss antioch,discovery,summer in the city, and all the retreats.
i miss monday night praise and worship with stupid pastor zack.
i miss going to olive garden wearing napkins on our heads.
i miss life before menstration.
i miss your exageration problem.
i miss the days where i had no fashion sense.
i miss dancing at transit.
i even miss working at that silly boscov's job for 1 month over christmas break last year.
sometimes i wish every moment of life could be simultaneously experienced.or experienced again.these memories have shaped who i am. sometimes i just miss everything..
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